


and if he's not gone, he lives there still

by nanakomatsus



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Alternate Universe - Space, Bittersweet Ending, Character Study, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Set very very far in the future, everyone is in a film crew, idk how to tag this, jren if you squint, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 12:42:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12984303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanakomatsus/pseuds/nanakomatsus
Summary: a young filmmaker goes missing and the only witness to his disappearance is his lover slash cameraman





	and if he's not gone, he lives there still

**Author's Note:**

> this is going to be a mess of Stuff and Feels. i worked on this is one sitting so please excuse any grammar/ spelling mistakes. format's super messy. story time jumps a lot so i'm sorry if you get confused at times. if you don't understand anything please leave a comment and i'll get back to you! soundtrack: M83's hurry up, we're dreaming album.

 

_EXCERPT FROM THE DAILY PICK, ISSUE #101, published MARCH 9, 7102_

 

**YOUNG FILMMAKER GONE MISSING ON SET OF LATEST PICTURE**

**KOREAN COLONIES OF VENUS** \- Hwang Minhyun, up-and-coming director of critically-acclaimed pictures Never (rel. 7100) and Downpour (rel. 7099) has been reported missing since earlier this month. The young filmmaker was on the set of his latest picture, Look (A Starlit Night) in the barren planes of the Korean Straits, Venus. The picture was to be a pseudo-documentary studying the dying stars of the region. On the night of February 26, Director Hwang, accompanied by selected members of the production crew were on their way to shoot exterior shots when he went missing. Investigations are currently ongoing to discover the whereabouts and cause of disappearance.

 

* * *

 

 

_**9 August, 7105 - Morning** _

_**Seoul, Republic of South Korea, Earth** _

 

The sunlight filters in through the blinds, its rays hot against his bare skin. The man pulls his covers up to protect himself. Less than a minute later, the white blankets are being ripped off him. A pink-haired man stands beside the bed, looking down at the brunette and sighing tiredly.

 

“Minki’s going to kill you for missing the memorial. Again,” comes a familiar voice (worn down by years of grief).

 

“Leave me alone,” says the voice from the mattress. Another sigh followed by a rough nudge to his back. A groan of pain escapes his lips.

 

“Seongwoo. You can’t keep doing this-”

 

“Just watch me.”

 

“It’s been three years-”

 

“I went for the first one. Is that not enough?”

 

“Can’t you at least pretend you’re fine? For the others? God knows how much they hate seeing you like this. How much it hurts for the rest of us.” There is a pause. The air turns cold.

 

“I don’t believe in God,” comes a belated response.

 

“Get dressed. After that, we’ll go straight for the debriefing. No press stops, I promise.”

 

Another pause as Seongwoo allows himself a deep breath before getting up.

 

“How do they all do it, Dan? How do they sit there in that stark white hall and watch those videos and-”

 

“Don’t you do the exact same? Right in this room?”

 

* * *

 

 

_**3 April, 7101** _

_**Pledis Pictures Headquarters, Gangnam, Seoul** _

_**Look (A Starlit Night) Preproduction Meeting** _

_Audio recorded for Reference by Kang Dongho, executive producer_

 

 **Kang Dongho:** So, we’re all gathered here today-

 

 **Choi Minki:** Oh please, skip the formalities Dongho. Get on with it, will you?

 

 **Dongho:** _[clearing voice]_ Shooting will begin next February, Aron and Minhyun will be jointly in charge of the script. The rest of the crew will be decided by our director here.

 

 **Hwang Minhyun:** _[rustling of paper]_ I think this crew’s fine.

 

 **Dongho:** Twelve people? Is that really all you need? You can take the Turtle. It fits sixty-

 

 **Minhyun:** No, it’s fine. They’re all I want.

 

_[In the background, Choi Minki laughs aloud.]_

 

 **Minki:** I like this one, Dongho. Film me good alright, Hwang?

**Minhyun:** With pleasure, Actor Choi.

 

_-End of recording-_

 

* * *

 

 

_**16 June, 7101** _

_**Unknown barbecue restaurant, Yeuoido, Seoul** _

 

Seongwoo had heard a lot about this guy. Had even seen his movies (he didn’t really get them but they were good anyway). There was a lot of talk about this Hwang Minhyun; how he was going to be the new Boy Genius of this dying industry, how his movies were going to shape the whole scene with their carefully-crafted stories and all that stuff about writing and structure.

 

Seongwoo doesn’t know about any of that. He’s just a guy who knows how to work a big camera.

 

They’re gathered around a long table, with the meat grilling between the twelve of them. He knows a few of them; Jonghyun, Jisung, Daniel, Sungwoon and Jaehwan. They’re a familiar bunch. He’s met them on a few other projects over the years.

 

The others are new youngsters he’s never met in his life. There’s one named Jihoon, a quiet but observant kid. Seongwoo feels like they’ll be meeting a lot again later. There’s Daehwi and Woojin, excited and hot-blooded, starry-eyed. Then there’s Guanlin, a new transfer to the company from the Chinese colonies on Mars and Jinyoung, a shy, slight little thing with glitter in his eyes.

 

“Do you think we’ll be waiting all night for Boy Wonder?” Jaehwan says, shaking his head at his watch as he takes a swig of soju.

 

“Give the guy a break. He’s probably stuck in a jam or something,” Daniel replies kindly. Jaehwan frowns.

 

“Can’t believe Dongho’s trusting this guy for a project as ridiculous as this one,” he mutters.

 

“That’s film for you, Jae. ‘Thought you knew, after all these years,” Sungwoon teases, earning a glare.

 

“Speak of the devil. The genius has arrived,” Jisung states with a sly smile, pointing his chin in the direction of the restaurant’s entrance. The group turns in unison, eyes glued to their new superior.

 

Seongwoo’s seen him in pictures, in various headlines, at premieres with arms full of beautiful actresses and on the chair in behind-the-scenes stills. Always giving off the image of a cool, cold, rich kid with special connections getting what he wants. This is what he expects of the young director.

 

Not wind-swept hair in a flurry, eyes wide as he greets them with a bright smile and in his arms, a willowy, long-haired blonde, World Enigma Choi Minki looking rather annoyed, attempting to disentangle himself from the taller man.

 

“Got caught up in the jam. Sorry about that,” Minhyun says with a lopsided grin, going around and shaking everyone’s hands one by one as they introduce themselves.

 

They meet eyes, brown on brown when it’s Seongwoo’s turn and all he feels is electric.

 

“Ong Seongwoo, camera guy. Man. Camera man.”

 

“Hwang Minhyun, I’m looking forward to meeting you,” he says softly, looking at the other through eyelashes. An invitation.

 

* * *

 

 

_**Transcript from 7103 debriefing interview with Ong Seongwoo, property of Pledis Pictures, all rights reserved.** _

_**Security clearance required.** _

**Jung Sewoon** : Shall we start?

 

 **Ong Seongwoo:** What’s the point in asking you’re going to, anyway?

 

 **Sewoon:** Begin recording. Session one, day one. The time is ten-ten in the morning on Tuesday, January first, 7103, at Pledis Pictures Headquarters, Gangnam, Seoul, Republic of South Korea, Earth. I, Jung Sewoon, Chief Investigator of the National Police and Investigation Forcee under the Missing Persons division, am the sole conductor of this final investigation interview. Would you please state your name, age and place of birth for the record?

**Seongwoo:** Ong Seongwoo, twenty three, West Korean Settlements, Uranus.

 

 **Sewoon:** Last employment?

 

 **Seongwoo:** Director of Photography on Sorry.

 

 **Sewoon:** Alright then. Let’s begin-

 

 **Seongwoo:** Haven’t we already started? You’ve been talking to yourself all this while.

 

 **Sewoon:** Seongwoo, there’s no need for belligerence. Everyone’s done their first, it’s just you left.

 

 **Seongwoo:** Then there’s nothing I can tell you that they haven’t.

 

 **Sewoon:** Can we just continue?

 

 **Seongwoo:** Whatever.

 

 **Sewoon:** You and Hwang Minhyun were romantically involved with one another, correct?

 

 **Seongwoo:** As if the whole fucking world doesn’t already know.

 

 **Sewoon:** Seongwoo, please, let’s make this easier for the both of us. I know it’s been barely a year but for your sake, his sake, everyone’s sake, let’s try to do the best we can to close this up, alright?

 

 **Seongwoo:** Yes, we were.

 

 **Sewoon:**  Thank you. When did this relationship commence?

**Seongwoo:** _[pause]_ I dunno, a few months before we went to the Straits… I guess around June of 7101. We went home together after our first meal as a team and it just sort of stuck after that.

 

 **Sewoon:** So you and Hwang were together from June of 7101 up until the end of February of 7102, is that right?

 

 **Seongwoo:** [chuckling] When you put it that way… it doesn’t seem like such along time, does it? And it’s not ‘were’. It’s ‘are’. He’s not dead.

 

 **Sewoon:** And your relationship was stable?

 

 **Seongwoo:** As stable as a relationship between an artist and a dumbass employee can be. We were alright, never had a really bad fight. We just argued like other people did. Even if it were bordering bad, we’d take a breather; a few hours or days off from each other and it’d be good as new. No hard feelings.

 

 **Sewoon:** So you’re saying that, when you two fought, if it escalated, you’d avoid speaking and seeing each other for an amount of time?

 

 **Seongwoo:** I hate the way you put it but in a sense, yes.

 

 **Sewoon:** Were you two arguing during the shoot?

 

 **Seongwoo:** What the fuck are you suggesting, Jung? That I did something to him?

**Sewoon:** No, Seongwoo, I’m not-

**Seongwoo:** We argued, yes, but it wasn’t anything big. We argued about the schedule, about the equipment, normal stuff people argue about on a production! Jesus Christ-

 

 **Sewoon:** Shall we take a break?

 

 **Seongwoo:** Yeah? How about we just end it for today-

 

* * *

 

 

_**Production Meeting, Look (A Starlit Night)** _

_Audio recorded for Reference by Kwak Aron, screenwriter_

 

 **Kwak Aron:** So, what’s it going to be? I doubt we can put in something that huge in post.

 

 **Hwang Minhyun:** I’ll look for one.

 

 **Aron:** Are you insane? It doesn’t exist, Min! And even if it does, you can’t just go walking into it, asking it questions and expecting a safe return.

 

 **Minhyun:** Don’t worry. We’ll find one.

 

 **Aron:** Are you not listening-

 

 **Minhyun:** Look, let’s just get on with it. We’ll talk about that later.

 

 **Aron:** _(sighing in defeat)_ Fine. But if you can’t find one, don’t go looking for it elsewhere. We’ll do something about it in post.

 

 **Minhyun:** I hear you.

 

 **Aron** _(_ _after a beat of silence):_ But it’s a beautiful idea, this whole thing.

**Minhyun:** I know.

 

 **Aron:** It’ll work.

 

 **Minhyun:** You hypocrite.

 

 **Aron:** _(laughs)_

 

_-End of recording-_

 

* * *

 

 

_**February 13, 1702, 2230 hours** _

_**Grand Station, Seoul** _

_**Departure from Earth to the Korean Straits, Venus** _

 

The Turtle is a medium-sized, pentagonal turquoise thing.

 

“It’s a real beauty,” Woojin says appreciatively, running his hands over the brown leather of the seats in the common area.

 

“It’ll take about a week, at most,” Dongho explains to Jonghyun, the 1st Assistant Director. “If there are any problems, just ring me up. There should be a signal in the towns around the Straits areas.”

 

Daehwi and Jinyoung follow Sungwoon around, checking on the supplies and the emergency box, making sure everything is in place.

 

Up on the second floor deck, Minhyun lays down on the cold wood, looking out at the dark sky through the Turtle’s glass dome.

 

“Min, it’s time for take off. Dongho wants to remind you of some stuff,” comes Seongwoo’s voice from the staircase. The young director shakes his head against the floor.

 

“Tell him thanks. I’ll ring him later.”

 

The cameraman’s about to head back down when he hears his name.

 

“Seongwoo, stay here. Just shout it down to Woojin or something. Don’t go. I want you to see this.”

 

Seongwoo’s hesitant but finally, he sticks his head down the stairwell and waves Jihoon over, passing the message on before heading back up.

 

“Lie down.”

 

Slowly, he lowers himself onto the wood, inches away from Minhyun. There is silence as they both lay there, looking up into nothing.

 

“What’s supposed to-”

 

The Turtle suddenly violently jerks forward. Up above, streaks of blue and purple of every shade colour the once-black void.

 

“That’s… that’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in a while,” Seongwoo breathes out.

 

Beside him, Minhyun lays on his side, staring at the other man now tinted the colour of the lights that shine up above.

 

“Yeah, it is.”

 

* * *

 

 

_**Continuation from transcript of 7103 debriefing interview with Ong Seongwoo, property of Pledis Pictures, all rights reserved.** _

_**Security clearance required.** _

 

 **Sewoon:** Can we continue?

**Seongwoo:** I don’t care.

 

 **Sewoon:** What was your crew count at departure?

 

 **Seongwoo:** I’m sure you have it right there in those notes you’re holding-

 

 **Sewoon:** Please, Seongwoo. I don’t want to repeat myself.

 

 **Seongwoo:** Twelve. Eight attached to the studio, four support staff.

 

 **Sewoon:** And upon return?

 

 **Seongwoo:** Eleven.

 

 **Sewoon:** Can you take me through the landing and establishment of base camp?

 

 **Seongwoo:** _[long pause]_ We landed on the Arirang Mountains on the 20 th of February. Set up base at the foot of the mountains. The strip of abandoned shops were the only things shielding us from the Straits. The station was basically deserted up there because no one visits the Straits so we thought it would be easier to transport the equipment when the time to shoot came instead going up and down all the time. There wasn’t any dawn during the winter over there, so it was always dark. First few days, we filmed a few scenes with Minki, got some wide shots of the scenery and stuff. Min recorded a few voice overs about the stars or some shit, I dunno. It was nothing, really.

 

 **Sewoon:** I think that’s enough for today. We’ll continue at a later date. Thanks, Seongwoo.

 

 **Seongwoo:** Do I really have to come back?

 

 **Sewoon:** Yes, you do. I’m sorry.

 

* * *

 

 

_**9 August, 7105 - Evening** _

_**Seoul, Republic of South Korea, Earth** _

 

“Seongwoo, you alright?” Comes Daniel’s voice, his hand squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

 

“I think I need some fresh air,” he answers.

 

It’s cold today. The skyscrapers don’t do much to block the autumn winds. The Police Headquarters loom behind them, all grey and imposing. They get into the yellow Cadillac.

 

“We’ll take a drive,” Daniel says and starts the engine. They drive off without looking back.

 

The Hangang River is nice this time of year, even if it is a little dull and grey. The two men sit in the car and look out at the dark, flowing water.

 

“So… that’s it? That’s the end of it?” Asks the pink-haired man after a while.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What next?”

 

“I dunno.”

 

Pause.

 

“You know, Dan, when I close my eyes, I still see the hyperspace streaks from the night we left. I see the movie Min wanted to make in my dreams but I wake up and we’ve only got just enough for a feature. It’s not what he would have wanted,” Seongwoo rambles, going on and on…

 

He finds himself sobbing through his thoughts, head against the dashboard, face in his hands as his shoulders shake. Daniel wants to rub his back or do something but he knows better.

 

“He’s fucking dead, Dan. Dead. And we’re never going to know what happened to him, I’m never going to know what he saw, what the movie would’ve turned out to be-”

 

* * *

 

 

_**August 9, 7102** _

_**Post production, Look (A Starlit Night)** _

_**Dark Room, Pledis Pictures Headquarters** _

 

The mood is sombre as they all pile into the office in black. Seongwoo immediately retreats into the Dark Room to continue washing the films followed by Jihoon and Jisung.

 

Minki breathes out a soft sigh, leaning into the couch, leaning into Jonghyun’s chest as the rest of them busy themselves with preparing dinner in the pantry.

 

“Where could he have gone?” He sing-songs lowly. Jonghyun’ eyes never leave the television, switching it off when a picture of Minhyun comes up in the evening news.

 

“He’s still alive,” he mutters. The actor nods.

 

“’Course he is. He wouldn’t have left us until the film was done. Even if God himself wanted to pluck him out of this world, I’m sure Minyeonnie would’ve protested until he got his way,” the blonde says with chuckle.

 

A few hours go by; the rest of the team have dinner together with Dongho and Aron, save the other three. It is almost midnight when Jisung appears from the room, looking like Death reincarnate. He waves them in as he heads towards his dinner.

 

“You guys can sit on the floor and watch. Just don’t touch anything.”

 

They make space for each other on the cold cement. Minki and Daniel wedge Seongwoo between them as the picture flickers on the wall in front of them.

 

There are endless shots of the mountains, with the sound of the waves washing on the shore. The skies are grey and purple and flat. The shops stand like skeletons, silhouettes against a violet painting.

 

Minki reads a script off to the side as Woojin fixes the boom mic. Guanlin hits the slate and they all run out of frame, leaving a lone blonde male at the center.

 

That night, Seongwoo goes to sleep with a tape recorder held tight in his hands and a pair of headphones plugged in.

 

_“The birth of a star…”_

 

Minhyun’s voice pulls him into the void.

 

* * *

 

 

_**9 August, 7105 - Midday** _

_**Seoul, Republic of South Korea, Earth** _

__

_**Transcript from 7105 debriefing interview with Ong Seongwoo, property of Pledis Pictures, all rights reserved.** _

_**Security clearance required.** _

 

 **Sewoon:** Hello, Seongwoo. It’s been a long time. Was beginning to think I’d never see you again

 

 **Seongwoo:** Neither did I. And here we are.

 

 **Sewoon:** It’s our last session.

 

 **Seongwoo:** I’m glad.

 

 **Sewoon:** So am I. Let’s get right into it. Session three, August 9, 7105. On the 26th of February, Minhyun requested a reconnaissance trip to the edge of the Straits, yes?

 

 **Seongwoo:** Yeah. We needed to get exterior shots. There weren’t enough at the time so we had to go get some. It was just me, Min, Dan, Minki and Woojin. We took a five-hour hike to the edge.

 

 **Sewoon:** There were no prior incidents involving the star? Any warning signs from the weather?

 

 **Seongwoo:** No. It was clear as day, or night over there. Just a gentle breeze. The waves barely moved. It was strange, but on Venus, everything is strange.

 

 **Sewoon:** Do you know why Director Hwang wanted to go explore on his own after you’d taken the shots?

 

 **Seongwoo:** He didn’t go alone. I went with him. I know I’m invisible as a cameraman, but I think I should get a little more credit. I saw everything. And to answer your question, it’s just how he is. He wanted to see the thing up close before we left.

 

 **Sewoon:** Did none of you try to stop him?

 

 **Seongwoo:** _[long pause]_ I did. The others didn’t know. They’d just assumed we went back to the base. The calls wouldn’t get through over there so there was no way to contact each other.

**Sewoon:** And what happened after Minhyun disappeared?

 

 **Seongwoo** : We went back to the Turtle, up on the mountain. Climbed all that grey stone ourselves with all our equipment and got out as fast as we could. Didn’t even have time to process what had happened until we were on our way back.

 

 **Sewoon:** _[pause]_ Is there anything you would like to add?

 

 **Seongwoo:** _[long pause] [voice cracking]_ And that’s the end of it. I didn’t hit him over the head, or push him into the sea. _[laughs]_ Always suspect the lover. I- _[pause]_ I loved a man and he left me. I don’t know where he is. But I want to. I want to fucking know what the hell happened to Min out there. But I was there and I still don’t _[voice cracking] [muffled sobs]._

 

 **Sewoon:** Pledis Pictures will pay for resettlement wherever you like, Seongwoo. And you’ll always have a job with them should you choose to go home.

**Seongwoo:** No, it’s fine. I’m staying. I love Seoul too much. I can’t leave Jihoon and the others. That wouldn’t be fair.

 

 **Sewoon:** I understand. I think that’s it. We’re done here. Thank you, Seongwoo.

 

 **Seongwoo:** Hope I never see you again, Jung.

 

 **Sewoon:** I hope so too.

 

* * *

 

 

_**SCENE 12 EXT. KOREAN STRAITS - DAY 6 TWILIGHT** _

_**0807 HOURS [26 FEBRUARY, 7102]** _

 

The star had appeared the night before, floating at the curve between the mountain and the ocean, at the opposite end of the land from base camp. It just stayed there, hovering over the salt water, glowing blue and silver.

 

“I want to go see it,” Minhyun whispers into Seongwoo’s ears as they’re packing the equipment. The other is about to tell him ‘no’ when he begins to jog off on his own.

 

In a rush, Seongwoo grabs the main camera and lugs it over his shoulder, carrying along Minhyun’s own personal camera in a crystal canister.

 

“Aron’s got it in for him. They do exist,” he says as they walk.

 

“What? Stars? Of course they exist, we see them every night.”

 

“No, a dying star. An observable, tiny, dying star.”

 

“Oh.”

 

The darkness begins to light up as they approach closer to the glowing orb. They come to a stop a distance away.

 

“So, you want to do a voice over? Record some shots with it in the background- Min?”

 

The other man isn’t listening and continues edging closer, camera at hand.

 

The audience will always see it before Minhyun does. A sudden spike of purple. As the young director stretches towards it, the suddenly tiny figure of a young man frozen forever in a pose of surprise and wonder, in the center of the shot- the star, the dying star so huge as to encompass the whole screen, disappears into the void, bringing him with it.

 

* * *

 

Minhyun awakes to bright white light all around him. He can’t open his eyes nor can he close them. A soft, neither female nor male voice greets him.

 

“Hello, Hwang Minhyun.”

 

“Where am I?”

 

“Inside a star of course, dear boy.”

 

“Are you the dying star?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Minhyun goes silent, thinking.

 

“What happened? To me? To the others? To Seongwoo?”

 

“You’ve prevented a supernova from tearing your universe apart by coming with us. The others are fine. As for you… you were vapourised upon contact.”

Minhyun lets this sink in.

 

“So, I can’t ever go back?”

 

“No. You can come with us.”

 

“What about Seongwoo?”

 

There is a pause.

 

“When we first landed, and you saw us from the beach, we knew then that he was something special to you.” The voice paused for just a moment.

 

“Can he be worth what you are doing? Can any one man be worth an entire universe?”

 

The filmmaker’s response came without hesitation.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then come.”

**Author's Note:**

> felt like this was a bit rushed but oh well i needed to do this, i just had to.  
> -heavily inspired by my favourite book of all time; Radiance by Catherynne M. Valente  
> -the last quote is from [here](http://rnyfh.tumblr.com/post/150461304068/james-kirk-thea-reasoned-tone-bordering-on)


End file.
